The daughter of my partner feels jealous of me

Dear Abe: I saw my partner, “generation”, for five years. After my husband passed, a generation entered my life again. We were colleagues about 10 years ago. We always had sparks but we never behaved, as I was deeply committed to my late husband.

After the funeral, a generation entered my life with gun fire. We shocked friendship, and it wasn’t long before it became more. I came to the interest in depth for him, and I want to be there for him, as he is older and faces some health problems. My problem is a generation and his younger daughter, “Nicole”, very close. I initially wanted a warm relationship with her and went out on my way to organize vacations and time together.

Fast forward now: I don’t like Nicole greatly because she takes advantage of her father. It is rude, indifferent and sacred by everyone, although she will not have anything if not for her father. I hesitate to contact her, because I will become the “bad man”, who has already tried to make me.

Nicole in the late twenties with her children. I am smaller than a generation, and I know she sees me a threat. I know there is some jealousy there, but I am worried about his well -being. His health is not great, and Nicole never wanders on your doctor’s dates, etc. I want to be generous because she cannot do any mistake in his eyes. Your inputs will be very appreciated. – Caring for it

Dear attention: Nicole is still generous. As I see it, you don’t have a big choice. Because she cannot do any error in her father’s eyes, if she tries to refer to otherwise, none of them will love you. What you should decide is what is more important to you – calling Nicole’s flagrant defects or the relationship with her father.

Dear Abe: As a young mother, she endured a difficult marriage full of home abuse. In the midst of these disorders, I struggled to be the father that my children need. They are now exaggerated, and I find myself a club about them. It hurts me very much to know that they do not want to do with me. I can only feel that I destroyed their lives, and the weight of this thought is unbearable.

I miss them dearly and in a chance to re -call and our relationship. I am at a crossroads and are not sure how to go ahead and fix the bonds that have been strained. I am very regretted my mistakes in the past and I want to make things right, but I am sure where I start. Thank you for guiding you. He was lost and overwhelmed in Canada

Dear I lost: I don’t know any ideal parents. Everyone makes mistakes. I hope you have mentioned why you think you “destroyed the lives of your children.” Were you physically or emotionally offensive? Have you abandoned them? If this is what happened, then continue. I apologize and offered to join them in family counseling if they were ready. It may be a healthy first step towards reconciliation.

Dear Abe, written by Abigil van Burin, also known as Jin Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Call dear Abe in http://www.dearabby.com Or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069.